Because Nothing Says Fun Like Entering Hell Voluntarily
So, you woke up and thought, “Hmm, what if I walked into a place called Hell’s Gate, climbed through hot caves, and possibly got roasted by geothermal steam like a human mandazi?”
Well, congratulations, you’re our kind of traveller.
Welcome to Hell’s Gate National Park — the only place where the phrase “Go to hell” might actually be followed with, “Sure, what time’s the hike?”
1. A Little Background: Where the Devil Allegedly Vacationed
First of all, no, Hell’s Gate has nothing to do with actual hell, Satan, or bad breakups. It's named after a dramatic break in the cliffs, once believed to be a passage to the underworld by very imaginative colonials.
And the caves? Well, they’re technically gorges and lava-carved passageways, but “Hell’s Gorge-y Holes” didn’t test well with tourists.
Still, when you see steam rising from cracks in the earth and water boiling like it owes someone rent, you’ll start to believe the devil did spend a long weekend here.
2. Getting There: A Peaceful Drive into Literal Hell
Located in Naivasha, just 90km from Nairobi, Hell’s Gate is one of the few national parks in Kenya where you’re allowed to walk or cycle among zebras, buffalo, and baboons — all of whom judge your cardio from a distance.
To explore the caves, you'll enter the Lower Gorge, also known as Ol Njorowa Gorge, which sounds like a place you'd find treasure. You won’t. But you might find a hot spring that turns your socks into soup.
3. Into the Gorge: The Caves Begin… and So Does the Regret
Your guide will say things like:
- “It’s an easy hike!” (Lies.)
- “We’ll be done in an hour.” (More lies.)
- “Just follow me.” (Terrifying.)
As you descend into the gorge, the temperature rises, the paths narrow, and your decision-making skills evaporate like geothermal mist.
You’ll pass through wind-sculpted canyons, hot springs, and naturally carved caves that look like something out of an Indiana Jones movie — except you’re the one doing all the sweating and none of the treasure hunting.
And when your guide casually says, “This part is called The Devil’s Bedroom,” just know it’s because it’s steamy, unpredictable, and you’ll want to escape immediately.
4. Things You’ll Definitely Say During the Cave Walk
- “Wait… is that steam or is the ground actually boiling?”
- “Are we supposed to be this close to the cliff edge?”
- “WHY IS THAT ROCK SLIPPERY?!”
- “I can’t believe M-Pesa doesn’t work in hell.”
And when you finally squeeze through “The Devil’s Mouth” — a narrow, steamy rock opening — you’ll either feel spiritually reborn or ready to sue your friend who planned this.
5. Wildlife? Yes. But They’re Smarter Than You.
Animals in Hell’s Gate have a simple rule: avoid the caves. You’ll see zebras, giraffes, and antelopes chilling up on the sunny plains, munching grass, and giving you the “you chose violence today” look as you disappear into geothermal nonsense.
The baboons? They might escort you. Or they might steal your snack and take selfies with your phone. They are agents of chaos, and we love them for it.
6. Safety First. Humour Second. Then Back to Safety.
What to bring:
- Sturdy shoes (not your "Instagram drip" sneakers)
- A real human guide (don’t trust your cousin who “watched a YouTube video”)
- Plenty of water (your soul will boil)
- Camera/Phone (to prove you survived Hell)
- Spare dignity (you may slip)
?? Avoid visiting during or after rain – the gorge becomes a water slide built by Satan himself.
7. Final Thoughts: Would We Do It Again? Heck Yes.
Yes, it’s hot. Yes, it’s a bit dangerous. And yes, you’ll feel like you aged five years during the hike.
But it’s breathtaking, unforgettable, and one of the only places on earth where you can say you walked into hell, climbed through it, and came out stronger (and much sweatier).
So go ahead — walk through the gates of Hell. Just don’t wear flip-flops.
